Category Archives: Impulsive Behavior

The dictionary defines acceptance as: the action or process of being received as adequate or suitable, typically to be admitted into a group. – ie. “you must wait for acceptance into the club”.

How many of you have ever been rejected from a group of people? Maybe you didn’t get “selected” for something that you were going for or got cut from the team? How did that make feel? Sad, confused, angry, resentful?? Discouraged, less than, not good enough?

And with all these emotions….. what do we usually do? Generally, we tend to isolate try to gain a perspective that we can live with but not before persecuting ourselves, questioning our value, purpose and place in life.

For some of us, this can be an up and down that we face as a reoccurring scenario and over time, it takes its toll on our self-worth, attitude and outlook on life…but we continue in our search for some place that we will eventually “fit in” and find “acceptance”.

On the other hand, there are some of us that have had a pretty smooth journey through life where we usually got what we went after, we were accepted into clubs or groups and we found a place where we “fit in”. We never had to pick ourselves up from the dust, brush ourselves off and try again. We have the looks and the “Je Ne Sais Quois” (appealing quality) that draws others to us. And in this sense of life, we can sometimes struggle with a compassionate outlook or even be drawn to someone who is not like us.

Maybe there are some of us who have had a situation where we were taken advantage of in some way. We were betrayed by someone or we made a bad decision that led us on course in life that left scars and caused huge walls of self-preservation to be built around us. We have trouble trusting people or letting people get close to us.

Whatever the situation is or has been in your life…….at some point in time you have placed a judgement call on others based upon your case history. This is a common occurrence and dates back even to childhood….we pick up on cues from our parents or people that we are drawn to….I mean we are all born of the flesh.

Think back…how about that time the you were told “I think so and so likes you”, what was your response? Ewwwwww I don’t like him or her……..or “really…..you think so?

What about when you told someone, I really like so and so……what was their response? Oh you are just wasting your time, she or he would never even talk to you…….or maybe,.. yea? What are you going to do about it?

Unfortunately, the world programs us to evaluate people based on culture and we also complicate the matter by our own individual flesh.

The Bible shows us differently.

A great example of God speaking directly to us about judging something or someone based on culture is in Acts chapter 10 and if we pick up at verse 9 we see this:

9 About noon the following day as they were on their journey and approaching the city, Peter went up on the roof to pray. 10 He became hungry and wanted something to eat, and while the meal was being prepared, he fell into a trance. 11 He saw heaven opened and something like a large sheet being let down to earth by its four corners. 12 It contained all kinds of four-footed animals, as well as reptiles and birds. 13 Then a voice told him, “Get up, Peter. Kill and eat.”

14 “Surely not, Lord!” Peter replied. “I have never eaten anything impure or unclean.”
15 The voice spoke to him a second time, “Do not call anything impure that God has made clean.”
16 This happened three times, and immediately the sheet was taken back to heaven.
17 While Peter was wondering about the meaning of the vision, the men sent by Cornelius found out where Simon’s house was and stopped at the gate. 18 They called out, asking if Simon who was known as Peter was staying there.
19 While Peter was still thinking about the vision, the Spirit said to him, “Simon, three[a] men are looking for you. 20 So get up and go downstairs. Do not hesitate to go with them, for I have sent them.”

And when we rejoin the story in verse 25, we find this from Peter:

25 As Peter entered the house, Cornelius met him and fell at his feet in reverence. 26 But Peter made him get up. “Stand up,” he said, “I am only a man myself.”
27 While talking with him, Peter went inside and found a large gathering of people. 28 He said to them: “You are well aware that it is against our law for a Jew to associate with or visit a Gentile. But God has shown me that I should not call anyone impure or unclean.

So clearly God is saying to us that he does not want us to judge.

Today’s examples of calling things unclean would be:
to label someone based upon ethnicity, color of skin, the type of job they have or don’t have, the type of car they drive, if they don’t have a car, where they live, level of attractiveness, physical fitness or form, disabilities, personality, reputation or past history…..you fill in your own blanks….
what is the criteria you use as a basis to speak to someone, be a friend or even to date?
What is the criteria you use to turn away?
What do you consider acceptable or unacceptable?
Do you avoid talking to someone out of fear that they may think or want something more from you?
I think God would label that as pride.

So as Peter did, how do we change our outlook and actions?

In Luke 6:37 we find a biblical view on judging others..

37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

Romans 11:14-16 Paul says

14 in the hope that I may somehow arouse my own people to envy and save some of them. 15 For if their rejection brought reconciliation to the world, what will their acceptance be but life from the dead? 16 If the part of the dough offered as first-fruits is holy, then the whole batch is holy; if the root is holy, so are the branches.

This means that if we are Christians, walking in the spirit….then by the spirit we are holy.
We are accepted by the root (Jesus) as a branch(His church) and if we can be deemed to be holy even though we are all different with different backgrounds, history, ethnicity and skin color. Because Jesus accepts us just as we are………
how can we NOT accept everyone as we have been accepted.

I say we accept……..this is our culture statement…….We accept because we are accepted.

Titus 2:11 says,
11 For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people.

He didn’t say some of the people…He said all people…….

If you find yourself setting criteria……I say refer back to Luke 6:37…..judge not and you will not be judged.
As Christians, our culture is based upon the gospel and I would say to anyone reading this, that if you do struggle with acceptance maybe its because you haven’t fully engaged relationally with Jesus.

Once you are fully surrendered and filled with the Holy Spirit then you know what it is like to be forgiven, to be fully accepted with no bias and no conditions and only then can you be in a place to fully accept others…..

Maybe this is an area of bondage for you….. Maybe you struggle with believing in your acceptance by Jesus or of Jesus

If you have any doubts then you are in the right place at the right time reading this… ask God to help you get the assurance, to get the healing and to walk in His freedom.
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